Introduction to my ADHD

In my life I often have this type of interaction:

Question: Do you really have ADHD? Or do you simply think you have ADHD?

Answer: No I’m actually diagnosed with ADHD (I’m predominantly inattentive), and I take regular medication for it.

This got me thinking about my own psychological profile, and this is from various thoughts over the years:

Poor Working Memory:

I have a bad working memory, if I were a computer, I might have two slots for memory, whereas everyone else has ten slots. This explains a lot of things including:

• Why maintaining a system, or someone interrupting me while I’m focused is so painful and irritating because it’s fighting for critical space in my working memory.
• Why I’ve got an increased mental cost to switching tasks, and contexts. Which is endemic to most office based jobs, and this is something that I simply cannot stand. It just kills me if someone messages, emails, calls me to make me switch to their context. Forget it, I’m exhausted before lunchtime.
• Why I’m obsessed with efficiency, not because it’s nice to have, but it’s a necessity if I am to keep pace with others and their ability to multi-task.
• Why I’m great at building, but you might as well throw me on the trash heap if you want me to continue to maintaining it. I will happily spent prolonged amounts of time (week, months even) on building something that requires the minimum amount of maintenance.
• When I say minimum, I really mean minimal. I can’t remember all of the details, and forget it if you expect me to maintain it to the level of a neurotypical. Like once a month at the most, and even then that’s pushing it.
• That when it comes to any “touching” (e.g. if I thought there’s a rule to each action), then thinking about what the resulting action is, is in of itself maintenance.
• Why I’m good at explaining, and teaching because it requires an intense focus on the student, and being only able to give them probably … two things at a time. But I can do that really well, because that’s all I’ve ever known!
• Why I generally have more energy in the morning, so I want to do the most energy intensive work first. This is in stark contrast to most people who want to do some low priority work first, and that helps them with increasing motivation throughout the day. Yeah I’m the opposite.
• Why I’m ok with doing low priority tasks when I feel like there’s already a sunk cost in being forced to do something else low priority. This does not mean that I like spending 30 minutes doing low priority tasks, one after the other. I mean that if I can multi-task on low priority tasks then I’m ok with that. I think this is called “Task Stacking”.
• Why I can really only focus intensely for about 30 minutes at a time, but when I have focus, it’s laser-focused, and nothing can break it.
• Why low priority tasks like admin work I find absolutely debilitating. Because it’s a fundamental mismatch of expensive and precious resources and using it on something that’s as basic as admin work.
• Why low priority tasks (like a 30 second task!) will spent literal weeks on my whiteboard, when neurotypical people would be able to rub it off within a couple of hours at the most.
• Why I’m bad at prioritising in general, or tasks that are “out of sight” are really “out of mind”,
• Why even a tiny amount of exercise can help massively during the day, as it helps open up more memory, and also has the added bonus of getting my mood back on track if it’s been a bad day!

Basically I’m on the same level as Dory for memory, well maybe not that extreme but it gives you a good approximation.

Perfectionism

Understanding My Tendencies:

• I have a high need for external control, likely compensating for a lack of internal control.
• I struggle with adapting to changing circumstances and being interrupted mid-task.
• My expectations are often unrealistic, assuming I should already be #1.
• Reaching the top doesn’t give me pride in myself, but only temporary relief that I’m not incongruent with my outward demeanour.
• I suffer in anticipation, imagining criticism of my “less than perfect” work.

Shifting Mindset:

Perfection and Control:

• Perfection is an illusion that shields us from potential hurt but ultimately prevents us from starting.
• Success comes from resilience and continuous improvement, not instant perfection.
• Excessive control, like perfectionism, can weigh us down. Consider embracing “antifragility” - systems that gain from disorder.

Embracing Uncertainty:

• Uncertainty is a powerful source of growth and creativity.
• It’s a blank canvas for flexible thinking and improved problem-solving skills.

Realistic Self-Assessment:

• Most people are primarily concerned with themselves, not critically judging others.
• Others’ reactions are not a reliable measure of worth.
• Consider: “Compared to what? At what cost? What hard evidence supports this?”

Healthy Approaches:

• Let go of the need to be #1 immediately. Focus on getting started and improving over time.
• Practice mindfulness and cognitive flexibility.
• Rely on others for social and moral support while building resilience.

Business Insights:

Innovation Opportunities:

• Beauty and accessibility can trump raw technical expertise.
• Target systems that are clunky, artificially complex, “ugly”, or lack standardization.
• Consider a “digital refurbishment” approach: updating old ideas/software for modern use.

Market Strategy:

• Saturated markets can be good opportunities, allowing for profit from small innovations.
• Competition isn’t scary; learn from it, but don’t let it paralyze you.
• Many groundbreaking ideas were initially rejected before becoming standard.

Product Development:

• Focus on making products beautiful and highly accessible.
• Small innovations in existing products can lead to significant success.
• Remember: being #2 or #3 in a field can still be incredibly successful and impactful.

Moving Forward:

• Cultivate a healthier sense of control and quality standards.
• Practice adapting to changes and interruptions.
• Set realistic expectations and celebrate incremental progress.
• Focus on starting and improving, rather than achieving instant perfection.